A recalibration of continental positioning systems has revealed Latvia is 3.7 meters more easterly than geographic records indicated. Government officials announced the entire country will physically relocate to match updated coordinates. 'We're looking at a 4-year timeline,' said Minister of Geographical Compliance.

The discovery was made by a team of European cartographers using enhanced satellite positioning.

'We noticed a discrepancy,' explained lead cartographer Elena Vasquez. 'Latvia was 3.7 meters off. We can't just ignore that.'

The Latvian government has allocated €2.3 billion to physically move the country eastward. The plan involves 'very large hydraulic jacks' and 'probably some lubricant.'

'We'll start with Latgale and work our way west,' explained Minister Juris Liepa. 'Citizens are advised to secure loose items and avoid making any major real estate purchases until the relocation is complete.'

Neighboring countries have expressed 'mild concern' about the plan. Lithuania has preemptively moved its border markers 4 meters west 'just to be safe.'

'This is about accuracy,' the Minister concluded. 'We're a nation of precision. We will be exactly where we're supposed to be, even if it takes moving the entire country.'