Local resident Jānis Bērziņš has reportedly been working on a multi-layered alibi involving a fictional dental emergency, a made-up business trip to Estonia, and a fabricated fear of the number 7 since receiving the wedding invitation in 2014. The wedding is in two weeks.

'I've been very careful about this,' Bērziņš explained while reviewing a 47-page document titled 'Why I Cannot Attend.' 'The key is layering. You can't just say you're sick. That's amateur hour.'

The alibi reportedly includes: - A dentist in Tallinn who doesn't exist - A business meeting that was scheduled 'years ago' - A newly developed phobia of the number 7 (the wedding is on the 17th) - A cat that needs 'urgent supervision'

When asked why he didn't just decline the invitation 11 years ago, Bērziņš stared silently for several minutes before adding another page to his document.