What is Jurmala?
Jurmala (Jūrmala) is Latvia's and the Baltic's largest resort city, located on the shore of the Gulf of Riga, just 25 km from the capital Riga.
The city's name derives from the Latvian word "jūra" (sea), perfectly reflecting its seaside essence. Jurmala stretches 32 kilometers along the coast, uniting 15 districts, each with its own character and history.
Today, Jurmala is not just beaches and pines, but also a cultural center of the region, a venue for international festivals, concerts, and (according to our version) the most absurd news in the Baltics!
🎭 Jurmala or Jurmola? Why are we Jurmola?
Attentive readers will notice: the correct spelling is Jurmala (with an "a"). This is the official name of the Latvian resort Jūrmala.
So why are we Jurmola Telegraphs, not Jurmala Telegraphs?
Because we're a satirical publication!
The spelling "Jurmola" (with an "o") is our deliberate choice, emphasizing the satirical, slightly absurd nature of our content. It's like a small typo in reality that hints: "not everything is as serious as it seems."
In our world, Jurmala becomes Jurmola – the capital of satirical news, where snails receive passports and seagulls pay resort fees. It's part of our play with words and reality.
💡 But in this article we use the correct spelling Jurmala, to tell you about the real city that inspires our satirical stories.
Why is Jurmala Important?
🏖️ Resort Jewel
33 km of white sandy beaches, awarded the EU Blue Flag for cleanliness and environmental quality.
🌲 Natural Oasis
Half the city is covered with pine forests, creating a unique microclimate with healing air.
🎭 Cultural Center
KVN Festival, world-class concerts, music festivals – Jurmala lives a vibrant cultural life.
🏛️ Architectural Heritage
Unique wooden architecture of the 19th-20th centuries: villas, boarding houses, dachas in Art Nouveau and national romantic styles.
Jurmala in Numbers
- 📍 Population: ~50,000 residents (and countless tourists in summer)
- 📏 Length: 32 km along the coast
- 🏖️ Beaches: 33 km of sandy beaches
- 🌳 Forests: 50% of the city's territory
- 🎵 Festivals per year: More than 20 major cultural events
- 🚂 To Riga: 25 km (30 minutes by train)
Jurmola Telegraphs and Jurmala
Our publication is named after this amazing city. Jurmola Telegraphs is a satirical look at life in Jurmala, Latvia, and the entire Baltic region.
We take real events from the region and take them to absurd extremes, creating humorous news in The Onion style, but with local flavor. Snails declared national symbols, resort fees for seagulls, political debates about sand color – that's our favorite genre!
We love Jurmala and show this love through the lens of good humor and satire. Because sometimes laughter is the best way to understand and appreciate the place where you live.
News About Jurmala
Read our satirical articles about Jurmala – where reality meets absurdity:
Riga Mayor Proposes Replacing Trams with Horse-Drawn Carriages to Boost Tourism and Nostalgia
In a bold move reminiscent of the 19th century, Riga's mayor announced plans to phase out electric trams in favor of horse-drawn carriages. Citing tourism potential and the return of nostalgia-driven commuting, the proposal has brought both neigh-sayers and enthusiasts into the streets.
Riga Residents Start Official Petition for Creation of 'National Month of Staring Quietly at the Sea'
In a bold move that perfectly encapsulates the spirit of Baltic reflection, Riga residents have launched a petition demanding the establishment of an official 'National Month of Staring Quietly at the Sea'. Their mission, driven by the deep cultural practice of contemplating nothing and everything, hopes to secure government recognition by next year.
Riga Declares First National 'Wait Five More Minutes' Holiday in Honor of Baltic Time
In a groundbreaking move that embodies the local spirit, Latvia's capital city has announced the first-ever 'Wait Five More Minutes' holiday. Conceived in the heart of Riga, the day celebrates the region's unique relationship with punctuality.
Jurmala Declares Itself Independent Nation, Plans to Adopt Sand-Dollar Currency
In a surprising move, the beachy paradise of Jurmala has unilaterally declared independence from Latvia, citing a unique cultural heritage centered around sea shells and sunbathing. The fledgling nation plans to adopt the ‘sand-dollar’ as its official currency, promising tourists and residents a sunny economic forecast.
Latvia's New National Sport: Competitive Pothole Dodging Gains Massive Popularity
In a twist nobody saw coming, Latvia's long-standing pothole problem has transformed into a national pastime. The new sport, ‘Potholathlon,’ has citizens racing through city streets in vehicles and on foot, dodging the legendary craters of Riga and beyond.
Latvia Reintroduces 'King of Bonfires' to Inspire Next Generation of Fire Enthusiasts
In a bold move to reignite national pride and rekindle ancient traditions, Latvia has announced the resurrection of the 'King of Bonfires' persona. This flamboyant figure, believed to have been extinguished sometime during the 18th century due to excessive smoke complaints, is set to make a comeback at this year's midsummer festival.
Visit Jurmala
If you haven't been to Jurmala yet – you must come! This is a city where you can:
- Walk along the 33-kilometer beach of the Baltic Sea
- Breathe the healing air of the pine forest
- Admire the wooden architecture of the early 20th century
- Try local cuisine in cozy cafes on Jomas Street
- Attend a concert or festival at the Dzintari Concert Hall
- Swim in the Gulf of Riga (in summer, of course!)
And then come back to us and read the satirical version of your visit! 😄
Jurmala – our inspiration, our home, our satire
With love and absurdity, the Jurmola Telegraphs team